a charm...

Original post written on 1/22/14.


 Holy shit. Hang on to your seats cause here we go again!

Yesterday I had a follow up doctors appointment for an x-ray to check up on this bronchitis that I had. In an attempt to be safe rather than sorry... I decided to give myself a pregnancy test to verify if there was a reason for me to not be getting zapped with the rays. As it turns out... I'm actually smarter than I think!

I sat down on the cold porcelain seat I peeled back the foil wrapper half asleep. I used the stick and then set it on the counter and covered it with toilet paper-this is my monthly ritual, I don't want to risk getting an early glance. In my mind... it was negative, it had to be, things just didn't work out this month. I brushed my teeth and hair and checked the clock. Once the toilet paper was off, I began balling. Uncontrollable, pacing-the-room, frantic, balling. I was going to do this again. The blue (+) sign starred at me plain as day! There was no doubting the lines as I have done in the past... it was so clear.

Because I was so certain that this month was not going to be the month, I was caught off guard. I stumbled around for a bit, again, kicking myself for waiting until Aaron had left for work to do the test. I had to tell him but I just didn't want to do it over the phone. Well, my emotions took over again & the tears began to fall. I rationalized it in my mind that I have tried the "perfect" pregnancy reveal 2 times before so what if this time was over the phone. So, I called him... still crying. Our call went something like this-

A: Hello?
L: {audible snot dripping down my face} Hello?
A: What's wrong, why are you crying!?
L: {trying to shift the lump in my throat} I'm pregnant
A: Really?! Oh, honey... that's a surprise. A good one! So, why are you crying?
L: I haaaavvvvve nnnnnoooooo iddddeeeeeaaa!

Such is my answer to every time I've cried in the past 2 weeks. {Unfortunately, that's been more times than I care to count!}

So long story... longer. I'm going to be a mama. It's so surreal and it has yet to fully sink in. Today, by my best calculations, I am 4 weeks along with a due date of October 1st. I know that I will have my days of worry but all that matters is, TODAY I am pregnant and that sounds pretty amazing to me. Third time's a charm, right?



*Mama Lu