simple signs...

My sister & I were talking to my aunt yesterday at a family brunch. For most of her life, she has said she has always been able to feel the energies of those who have passed. We were talking about seeing or feeling signs of Aaron & she said to us, "you can't look for signs... you just need to open yourself up to allow them to come to you." I have never been particularly spiritual or in tune to surrounding energies or spirits but I want to feel his presence more than anything.


I think right now I am trying to envision signs of Aaron visiting us. A specific song coming on the radio, a picture that reminds me of him... anything really to make me feel more at peace with this unimaginable loss.

Thursday afternoon, the day before Aaron's showing, we were driving & Mr. C. and I got on the discussion of an afterlife. All of our thoughts led me to say, "I just wish I had a sign from Aaron. A clear-cut sign that he was with us." No more than a minute after I said that we pulled by a church with a scrolling electronic sign that read "Here is your sign. Come meet Jesus"  It made us gasp & laugh out loud. He was there.

Later that night I was sitting back and watching the Big Bang Theory. Aaron was a big fan of that show. It is normally a funny, light-hearted show that I can lose myself in for a half hour. This episode was different -  it was based around a funeral. There were still the funny parts, which allowed me to laugh a little bit, but it was also serious. It struck me as odd... it was just a little out of the norm. He was there.

Then Sunday came along. All of the events of the weekend were winding down. We were exhausted & flipped on the TV to provide some background noise. The Nascar race that came on was the Aaron's Talledega race. Coincidence? Maybe. We watched a documentary on the Afterlife. It made me feel a little more peace with the situation. They interviewed a few people who shared their near death experiences. They made me feel like Aaron is living with all who have gone before him without pain. It made me feel comfortable with the idea of Heaven. Later that evening... because apparently all we did on Sunday was watch TV... the Simpsons came on. Weird enough that it was the Lego episode. Anyone who knew my brother knew how crazy he was for his, uh I mean, Bradley's Legos. He could build entire cities and fleets & never get tired of them. Again, he was there. 

I'm sure it may be a bit of a coincidence but if that's what it takes to make me feel like I am connecting with him again... so be it. I am not creating things to remind me of him, everything has a touch of him in it. I am waiting for the day where I feel a spiritual connection to him & his soul. A sure sign that he is here with us, a little reassurance that there is something more than this life we are living here on Earth.


*Lu