It's a wonder that my child is alive. When I think back on what these last weeks have taught me...I just laugh. How the hell do people do this?!
ALWAYS make the first doctors appointment of the day.
Being that a lot of our early days were spent in a doctor's office, thanks to an infection, tongue tie and routine check ups, it seemed like I spent the majority of the time in a germ-infested waiting room. With a newborn. Eck.
There is no such thing as routine.
In theory it sounds great, your baby sleeps/eats/poops when you chose so that it fits into your to-do list. They make it sound so easy to create a schedule. Bullshit. This child has a mind of his own...I'm just along for the ride.
Nothing is more slippery than a freshly washed baby.
Between the warm soapy bath water and the thick slather of baby lotion Nathan is lucky he wasn't dropped at least 10 times already.
Children's programming is the worst.
I am trying to familiarize myself with a few of the Nick Jr. and disney shows. He is really starting to take notice of the shapes and sounds but God, if I hear 'Peettaahh Raaabbittt' one more time I might have to break the TV.
I don't have nearly enough time for wine.
I remember when I was pregnant I always said 'I can't wait to have a glass of wine or 3.' Cut to modern-day me: asleep on the couch at 7:30 with a wasted, half-drank glass of wine in hand and a puddle of drool that would put any dog to shame. I'm sorry old friend.
It is possible to eat an entire meal in 8 minutes.
It took me just that to eat a baked potato and a burger the other day.
Showers aren't what they used to be.
Luxury is a thing of the past, I knew that going into this. I never thought that I would ever be able to shower, shave, do my hair and makeup all in 20 minutes. I can't risk a meltdown!
Sleepy smiles will forever be the best part of motherhood.
The soft glow of the nightlight just makes it better. It almost makes me forget that it's 3am and I'm running on 2 hours of sleep-almost...
My housewives will have to wait.
They now take a backseat to shitty diapers and burp cloths.
Your mind will NEVER stop.
This one always hits me at 2am when everyone else is sound asleep. I worry about everything. When will he roll over? Is he eating enough? What will he wear tomorrow? Not matter how trivial...I can assure you I will be awake thinking about it.
It's not gonna kill you to keep your house tidy, but why take that risk?
Even with an immobile infant this house is a mess. Dirty bottles and burp cloths are spread over 3 different rooms. Our bed is covered with toys...but really, who needs a clean bed? Laundry sits patiently until I get motivation. Stacks of mail are piling up beyond control. Also, there is enough dust on my tables that I'm considering writing 'happy holidays' in it to make it look like its's intentional.
Relax.
A few days ago we had a bad day.
Emotions were running high. I had a few crying spells. Aaron and I were on edge with each other and Nathan was overly fussy. Our plans had been changed and we had been stuck in the house all day. We decided shopping would help morale. Que baby meltdown and stressed out mom and dad. Halfway across town we realized we also forgot a bottle. To top it off, running out of the store I peed myself a little. I'm not ashamed...it happens. All in all a total fail!
Guess what though - the next day we got to try again. The little things didn't kill us. I mean, we can't be perfect every day...just most!
*mamaLu
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